Showing posts with label Gawd I'm crotchety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gawd I'm crotchety. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

In the name of the Kardashians, Morgan Freeman, and Jersey Shore...Amen.

This morning I woke up on the moody side of the bed. In the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy in Connecticut, there have been many thoughts and asides posted to Facebook (which has been my main source of entertainment since I just moved this weekend and no TV was set up) with fake celebrity quotes about the tragedy. The quotes themselves are insightful, and for the most part, right on. The issue is, they were not the thoughts of the celebrity assigned to them. The last one I read was supposedly from Ben Stein about Christmas and the whole PC factor...and how political correctness is consuming our nation and leading to our moral bankruptcy.

I decided to research this to see how close it was to what he actually said. It was a combination of his appearance on the O'Reiley Factor, and an e-mail that supposedly circulated by him in 2005.   (Verified here )

Please note that I understand the irony of quoting Ben Stein to make a point about celebrity worship. However, I like to justify this particular reference by noting that Ben Stein graduated from Columbia University in 1966 with honors in economics. He graduated from Yale Law School in 1970 as valedictorian of his class. He also studied in the graduate school of economics at Yale. He has worked as an economist at The Department of Commerce, a poverty lawyer in New Haven and Washington, D.C., a trial lawyer in the field of trade regulation at the Federal Trade Commission in Washington, D.C., a university adjunct at American University in Washington, D.C., at the University of California at Santa Cruz, and at Pepperdine. At American U. He taught about the political and social content of mass culture. He taught the same subject at UCSC, as well as about political and civil rights under the Constitution. At Pepperdine, he has taught about libel law and about securities law and ethical issues since 1986.

He was a speech writer and lawyer for Richard Nixon at The White House and then for Gerald Ford. He has been a columnist and editorial writer for The Wall Street Journal, a syndicated columnist for The Los Angeles Herald Examiner (R.I.P.) and King Features Syndicate, and a frequent contributor to Barrons.

In short, he has a good platform to teach, to advise, to comment, and it explains why (Eric Brunner) people would ask his opinion on financials in 2008, wrong or not. (Side note: to simplify his "wrong" advice is completely irrelevant)
Anyway, in reading these thoughts, I was struck by this:
  • I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?
Even my post on Facebook elicited comments from my friends that "Ben Stein went off the deep end when he created a film on the premise of evolution being a fallacy" and that he was wrong when he advised to invest in financials in 2008. Which irritates me to no end because they missed the actual point of my post, and I would like to know when it became en vogue to dismiss any notion that isn't secular (such as providing a viewpoint that questions evolution).

Regardless of your position on a higher power, there is value in religion. Be it Taoist, Buddhist, Hindu, Mormon, Christian, Jewish, etc. etc., there is a VALUE system that is embedded in each sect of religion. Be tolerant, do unto others as they would to you, do not kill...I could go on and on. These are present in EVERY religion.

The problem is that America has gotten so hung up on dogma, that they've completely dismissed the entire notion of religion. "Baptist don't believe in dancin' so I don't believe in God." Well that seems convenient, doesn't it? Amend your beliefs based on one sects conventions? Sure. The Catholics have done a great job at polarizing people, as well as assholes like Westboro Church.

I was born into a Lutheran family, I was raised Baptist, and I spent a portion of my adult life not claiming any denomination. I prefer non-denominational churches who are tolerant (read: the congregation is diverse, including *gasp* the homosexuals!) and preach the word of God without guilting you about your personal choices in every sermon (though conviction has it's place as well). But I am undoubtedly Christian. I believe I am saved by God's grace. I believe in a higher power. I believe in heaven and hell. And I stand by my beliefs, though my choices in my personal life don't always reflect what my religion says I am to do. I feel the need to caveat that since some people will inevitably call out hypocracy for my sins...because CLEARLY we can't have sin and forgiveness and grace. We're talking absolutes, people...pick one! :)

I know a lot of couples who didn't go to church until they had kids. Why? Because you want to instill a sense of right and wrong and help to set a moral compass as a parent, and faith is a tool to help you do that. Sure you can argue that any parent can do that on their own, but you cannot deny the value of religion in society. All religions emphasize betterment, improving human beings, a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood, love - these things are common. Putting others before yourself. The Dalai Lama said, "A good motivation is what is needed: compassion, without dogmatism, without complicated philosophy; just understanding that others are human brothers and sisters and respecting their rights and human dignity." I'm pretty sure that sums up at least 20 major religions. When I think about the kind of person who could go shoot up an elementary school, I immediately think that person is selfish. Let ME serve myself.

Instead, we seem content to let religion fall by the wayside, condemning anyone who would believe in an "imaginary being" who "tries to put a strain on the way I live my life." Particularly in America, where our hubris cripples us. This is AMERICA- the land of the FREE! Your manger offends me, your God offends me, and MY need to be free is more important than the values of your God.

The trend has been continuing over the years. If you ask more young people what they want to be when they grow up, they'll say famous. Gone are the days of wanting to be a doctor or a fireman or pretty much anything that serves others. Now kids want to be in the spotlight- because we glorify celebrity and infamy (good or bad). Because you can have your 15 mins of fame without contributing anything to society. And the weird part is that EVERYONE will complain about these hasbeens, and the Honey Boo Boo's of the world, but no one looks to change the cause. We just want to bitch about the symptoms. In fact, the only time we seem content to talk about serving others is when it comes to resources and money. The rich should really do their part to distribute wealth to serve others as a whole. Universal health care is great because then EVERYONE has access to it. I mean, what should I care about the actual consequences of any of these notions, because I will be partying with the President when I'm on MTV's "Broke and in Rehab Porn Star Challenge", right?

Religion is, if you will, a necessary evil. Politics itself is not bad. Politics are necessary as an instrument to solve the problems of human society. It itself is not bad; it is necessary. However, if politics are practiced by bad persons, out of cunning and lacking the right motivation, then of course it becomes bad. This is true not only of politics but in all areas, including religion - so I completely understand the idea of people being turned off by the notion. However, like politics, it is necessary to society. And if you can't make the correlation of our nation moving to an apathetic anti-Christian, pro "me" stance and the increase in moral bankruptcy, then you might need to take a closer look at your reasoning skills. If for nothing else, to instill the notion that you are not first. It's not about what you want and doing things that serve yourself (gimme, gimme, gimme) is not ok.

I'm sick and tired of people beefing up the politics, beefing up the worship of celebrities and only crying out to religion in tragedy, or to blame zealots for the execution of their bad motivations. "I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat." Morgan Freeman is not my moral compass, though there are more people who will accept him as God in Bruce Almighty than accept the teachings of Jesus, who is undeniably the most influential person in history.

There is a need for religion in society, and I hope ours finds it. Not dogma, not denomination, but religion. Because depending on ourselves to build our own moral compass is not working.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Pin this, bitches!


I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest. I LOVE the stuff I find on there, and contrary to popular belief, it’s not all recipes and crafts. Flat extension cords? Who knew these existed?! A gadget that finds your lost keys/lost phone? Sign. Me. Up. But I will tell you what I absolutely HATE on Pinterest: seeing all my friend’s stupid ass wedding boards. Bitch, you aren’t even engaged! And I don’t know why you would pin that strapless plunging neckline dress when you’re a size 16 anyway. I guess by the time you actually get engaged you’ll be able to wear it? Am I the only person getting fatter as I’m in a relationship?
I had a friend in college who would always buy bridal magazines and earmark and tab things she liked. Can someone please explain to me WHY you would do this if you are nowhere in the ballpark of a wedding? By the time these girls actually get engaged, these styles will be LONG gone. Trust me...because they are also the girls who pin things like the Marilyn Monroe quote that says something like, “A wise girls kisses, but doesn’t love...” or some other equally depressing bullshit.
I’m not trying to be a dream crusher...ok, maybe I’m crushing a few dreams...but I can’t be the only person in the world who thinks this is annoying. I can forgive you for putting your ab workout post next to your triple fudge cake recipe...but I don’t want to see the templates for your non-existent wedding. Stop the madness! I’m not saying I don’t look at the occasional wedding dress...I just don’t pin it for the world to see! Keep that shit on lock, ladies. Obsess/dream/hope in private...
This public service announcement brought to you by Hershey’s chocolate. Hershey’s: keeping single girls company since 1894.

Are you there bacon? It's me, Margaret...er, Emily


I’m fighting with my scale. Actually, I take that back because I’m not really a numbers person. I’m fighting with my saddlebags. For those of you not ready to listen to me bitch about being chubby, just tune out now because I’m on a tirade.
I’m prefacing this post with the statement that I do indeed know how to lose weight and I don’t want to hear about how I should just run or eat beets or whatever other bullshit advice you have for me because I don’t care. I’m a firm believer in doing what works for you and what works for you won’t work for me. Partially because the only time I want to run is if my life depends on it, and partially because I’ve tried just about everything I want to try and I know what works and what doesn’t, so adopting your low carb/Paleo/vegetarian/2 Big Mac/whatever voodoo lifestyle choice you are doing doesn’t appeal to me. So don’t even waste your breath because, like my last trainer, I’ll probably just verbally assault you and ignore what you have to say.
When I think about what I need to do to lose weight, I want to punch a baby. Preferably a chubby one. At the peak of my weight loss last year (which happened to be around my 10 yr reunion...coincidence? Pssshyeah right!) I was almost completely gluten free and drinking about 160 oz of water a day. I wasn’t really working out, unless you count the stripper-robics or the Bikram. None of these things are difficult in the least. It’s not hard to stick to that diet and it’s not hard to do that very minimal physical activity. The difficulty I have with these things is the amount of TIME that is needed to do them. A ton of planning goes into eating gluten-free and making sure that I’m eliminating excuses by cooking on Sundays (usually about a 3 hour effort, not counting the trip to the grocery store) for the whole week and planning the 6 times a day that I was eating. What. The. Hell. I would CONSTANTLY be thinking of the next thing I was going to put in my mouth (that’s what she said), whether it was another shot of water or the piece of turkey I brought for a snack. I played Power Hour with my water to make sure I made my daily goal...if it was 10 AM and I was only 60 oz in, I was behind! Then I’d get off work and somehow find an hour and a half to go sweat my boobs off in a Bikram class in Richardson, which was a good 45 mins away from my house. By the time I walked in the door, it was usually about 9...and if I did that NOW, living in Garland, better push that to about 9:30. This is why people are fat...because who has the time to do this shit day in and day out? Well technically, I do, but I want to whine about the effort, so shut your face and jump on my venting train.
Long story short, I have to suck it up and find a way to motivate myself to spend the time to do this shit. And to stop eating delicious things. And drink more water...I’m already 60 oz behind...
I hate naturally thin people.